As a woman of size, I guess there seems to be some misconception that I'm supposed to be interested in who/whatever is interested in me. That's sooooo not true. In case you haven't gotten the memo, I'm a former overachiever with a somewhat seasoned career in higher education with my own place and no kids. If you catch me on the right day in the right dress at the time, I might just turn your head too.
When it comes to male attention, especially on a certain website, I tend to get a ridiculous amount of attention from "ineligible bachelors." These are men who know that they don't meet my basic dating criteria, but they feel like I should be happy that they are talking to me. No sir, I'm actually offended that you think that I would talk to you.
Just in case you're in denial, let me identify you.
If you are un/under employed and see no reason for personal growth in your future, don't talk to me. I have worked my butt off since the age of sixteen and will continue to do so. Your lack of desire to "do better" and "want more" will annoy me.
If you have children, especially multiple children, please go that way. I have this "far-fetched" dream of giving birth to my beloved's first child which means that if I date your breeding behind, I will have to settle. I'm just not interested.
I am a firm believer in the art of courtship when it comes to relationships and dating. If think that you should be pursued by a woman, go shoot yourself. I guess that also means that you want to have a period and give birth to babies too, right? Grow a pair! This also applies to men who think that it's OK to be taken care of by a woman or ask women for money, even though that's probably your mother's fault.
If you have tattoos on your face or cornrows over the age of 23, you can also pass me by. I'd rather not live my life explaining your silly appearance to my friends and family.
If you cannot speak basic English or communicate in text talk. I don't even understand what you are saying, so don't say anything. Seriously.
Last but not least, I'm not interested if you don't believe in going to the doctor regularly. If you only visit the doc's office when something is broke down in "Junktown," we can't be friends. Your nasty behind might have something nasty brewing.
I know that some of this seemed like common sense, but it clearly isn't. In addition to the basics, I'd like the future "Mr Elle B" to be over six feet tall, poetic, beautifully complected and be the son of a horse. That's asking for a lot...but a girl can dream right? ;)
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